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Tina Fey Knows My Thoughts..

Tina Fey

Do you know Tina Fey?  She is funny.. really funny. She used to be a writer for SNL and now she is a writer and star for NBC's 30 Rock. I recently read this prayer she wrote for her daughter, and it totally fit me.  I wish I wrote it.

 

A prayer for my daughter – By Tina Fey

“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.

Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen.” -Tina Fey

Tuesday’s To Do List..

Holy Smokes.. did you see Saturday Night Live?  Betty White killed!  She was so good.. and to have

some of the woman  that have left SNL on there was awesome!  I loved them!

1.  School the Monkeys

2. Write up eBay Stuff for myself

3.  Dance class.. #3 & #4

4. Return Library books

5. Write Article

6. Make to-do list for Youth Group’s work day on Wednesday

7. Write up eBay auctions for church

8.  order Girl Scout patches

9.  Transfer files via FTP

10. Sequins…

11. Dinner= Salisbury Steak, mashed potatoes, peas, biscuits

I actually got this other stuff done too: sent out email to cadets about summer scouts, sent email to the new 6th graders for youth group, made GS newsletter for May/June, Sat on hold with the insurance company to make some changes

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