I was having a conversation with my baby last night. He just turned 5, and I like to talk to him about his dreams for when he’s older. Here’s what his thoughts are on the subject of marriage.
Mom: What do you want to be when you grow up?
#5: I want to be a basketball player. But I don’t think we have a basketball.
Mom: Do you want to get married?
Mom: Who’s going to make you dinner?
Mom: What about children? Are you going to have children?
#5: No, I don’t want any children. I’m going to have a dog. He’s going to be black, white and green. I will name him Max.
Mom: What kind of house are you going to live in? Who’s going to clean it?
#5: I can clean it. My house is going to be green and orange. I’m going to make sweet, juicy steak for dinner. Can I bring my rock collection inside? I don’t want it to get wet.
Mom: No, rock collections look better outside.
#5: I’m going to have my rock collection in MY house.
Mom: Are you sure you don’t want to get married? Who will scratch your back?
#5: I can scratch my own back! See? (he stood up and reached around and scratched his back).
Mom: Won’t you be lonely at your house?
#5: No, Max my dog will be there.
Mom: Don’t you like kids?
Mom: Do you like women?
#5: I like women, I just don’t need one.
His father thinks this is the funniest thing he’s ever said..