Dear eBay Queen: Let Me Show You How to Cancel an eBay Transaction

Dear eBay Queen:

March 29th  I purchased a Nintendo DS XL for my granddaughter.  I figured out about 10 minutes after I bought it that it was not the newest model. I messaged the seller to let them know that I wanted to cancel the transaction, and I received this message from them:

“Geez lady! I’m not selling this stuff for my health! Shouldn’t you know what you’re purchasing before you purchase it! I don’t really want to cancel the transaction.  Why don’t you purchase it and sell it yourself?  I see you are a seller!  That’s probably what you are going to do anyway since you got this one so cheap!”

I didn’t respond, I just paid for the item, and went and bought my granddaughter the one she wanted on  Later in the day the seller sent me this message:

“Way to go! You’ve paid for the item.  I’ll ship it out in the next couple of days.”

I received the Nintendo DS that I purchased from the eBay Seller, and I immediately put it on eBay, and sold it for $20.00 more than I paid!

This last week a buyer purchased a Fiesta sugar, creamer and coffee pot from me on eBay.  They messaged me this before she paid:

Hi, I have been wanting to complete my set for years.  I just found out my daughter in law purchased a set for me for Mother’s Day.  Would there be any way that I could cancel this transaction?  If not, I completely understand. I had no idea that my daughter in law would do something this wonderful for me.  I guess she does listen to me when I talk!

I messaged the buyer back telling them no problem, and then I cancelled their transaction.  The buyer sent the following message to me:

“Thank you so much! I was so afraid to write you.  I buy a few things a month on eBay, and I’ve never asked to cancel a transaction. I have heard some nightmare stories from other people about how sellers are not nice to buyers.  You have changed my mind.  Thank you so much for doing this for me.  I really appreciate your kindness, and I will be looking at your other Fiesta Ware items.”

I’m a seller, and I understand it is disappointing to lose a sale, but why are other sellers so rude?


Dear Jill:

It is disappointing to lose a sale, but it is more disappointing to lose a customer.  I think you did the right thing on both issues.  What kind of feedback did you leave the seller that was rude?  I think I would have said. “Tried to cancel purchase. Seller refused. I sold for more money.”

Thanks for being a good example of what a buyer and seller should be on eBay.


Dear eBay Queen:

I sell mostly children’s clothing, and I ship them in either Tyvek or plastic bags.  A buyer sent me a message saying they cut the shirt when the opened the package, and asked I would replace it.  I told her I was sorry, but I could not replace the item.  She responded with this:

“What kind of seller are you? The envelopes you use need a scissor to open the package, so it is your fault that I cut the package! You need to use different envelopes or fold your products better. I think you should give me a full refund, or at least split the costs with me. I will NEVER buy anything from you. I will tell all my friends not to buy anything either!  You can guess what kind of feedback comment you will be giving me.”

What should I do?  Do you think I should actually give this woman back her money?  I called eBay, and I was told that what she said was feedback extortion and if she leaves the feedback they will remove it.  They did not give me any advice about the refund.

Dear CP:

I would not give her back her money.  She admitted she cut the item when she opened the package.  If she had not admitted to it, and just said there was a cut in the item when she received it that would be a different story.  You would be forced to refund her money.

In a situation like this I would block her, and watch for her negative.  Once she leaves it call eBay and they will remove it.


Strange eBay Item of the Week: Item #281747980393: Comic books are really collectible.  When it’s the right one, it’s worth a lot of money.  Check out this one! Amazing Fantasy #15 CGC 4.0 SS Stan Lee Signed 1st Appearance of Spider-Man!  SOLD: $85000.00.


Dear eBay Queen: I Gave a Good Seller a Defect! Help!

Dear eBay Queen:

I am a buyer, and I thought a pretty good one at that. I’ve never left negative feedback, and I really have never had any problems with any of the items I purchased until now.

I bought a new case for my phone, and when it arrived it did not fit my phone. I tried to contact the seller, but it gave me a list of options, and since it didn’t fit, I wanted to return it. I opened what I believe is called a return request. The seller while being very nice, I can tell she is miffed at me. She told me in a message that I could send it back, BUT that I have hurt her eBay account. After much back and forth as it turns out I selected DEFECTIVE and I should have selected did not fit. It truly is my fault because I did not order the right size model for my phone. What should I do?

Eating Humble Pie

Dear Humble:

I think if I were you I would message the seller and apologize. Let them know this is the first time you’ve returned something and you were confused by the options. Let her know that you will make it right by calling eBay and telling them what you did. I don’t know that eBay can correct the situation right then, but I know they can do it after the return is done.

To contact eBay go to the top of any eBay page and click on “Help and Contact” then go to the bottom of the page and click on the blue “contact us” button. You will be taken to another page where you click on “buying”, “after the purchase” and then “leaving/receiving feedback.” Then a “CALL” option will appear. Tell the representative everything you told me. Then let the seller know what you did, and return your item.

eBay returns system isn’t perfect, and it really can be confusing for someone that has never used it before.


Dear eBay Queen:

I’m a little frustrated. I accepted and offer on an item that I really just wanted gone. I should have known by looking at this chick’s PRIVATE feedback that there was a problem. She has left me SHIPPING instructions on how to ship her Starbucks mug. Here’s what she wrote:

“READ***READ***SHIPPING INSTRUCTIONS*** 1. You must PRINT all the letters of my street address. It cannot say APT it must say APARTMENT. This means you are going to need to HAND print the label and take it into the post office. If you print the label online, you’ll get the abbreviation for apartment. 2. Since the Starbucks Mug comes in its original retail packaging, wrap all of that in bubble wrap 2 times. 3. Place bubble wrapped mug and packaging inside a #4 Priority Mail box with packing peanuts all around the item. 4. Place the #4 inside a Priority Mail #7 box with packing peanuts all around the #4 shipping box. Make sure both boxes are safe and secure with no rattling. 5. Seal the box and place the handmade label on the package. 6. Take the package to the post office and purchase postage and add a delivery confirmation. Any deviation from this can and will result in negative feedback.”

I woke up the next day with the following message: “I sent you a message last night attached to the PayPal payment. You have not replied. Please advise why you are not handling my issue promptly.”

What should I do about this? Your prompt help handling my issue is appreciated. 🙂

Stella A.

Dear Stella:

The first thing that strikes me about this, (other than she has lost her mind) is that the buyer is asking you to send an item to an address that is not authorized with eBay. DO NOT change the address. I would respond to her and let her know that you can’t change her address, but she can go into eBay and spell out APARTMENT on her address form, so that it will print that way on ALL sellers labels. I would tell her that by you changing the label you will be breaking eBay’s policy for you as a seller.

Your other option would be to offer to cancel the transaction because there is something wrong with her posted eBay address.

I would then immediately call eBay, ask them how to handle this, and ask them if you hand write the label if you will be protected under the selling policy. I would also point out that this buyer had threatened feedback extortion.


Strange eBay Item of the Week: Item #: 310781360852. Halloween will be here soon. A search on eBay for “Halloween Costumes” yields some pretty interesting results. Basset Hound Dog Mascot Costume Suit Halloween Animals New and Ready to Ship SOLD: $750.00.

Dear eBay Queen: How Do I Get A Negative Feedback Removed?

Dear eBay Queen:

I had a buyer leave a negative for me a few weeks ago, and after much cajoling on my part and a refund + a new item, they’ve agreed to remove it. I’m not sure how to do that. Can you tell me how to instruct them on removing it?


Dear Linda:

Did your buyer state that they would remove it if you gave them a refund and a new item, or did you offer that? If they demanded those things, and you didn’t offer them, I would contact eBay and let them know this. I would do this before I send a feedback revision request. I have heard of eBay removing the feedback when a buyer uses the ‘Do this and I’ll remove the feedback’ attitude.

To send a feedback revision on eBay, go here: and click on ‘submit a feedback revision request’.


Dear eBay Queen:

I’ve been selling whatever I can find for years. I was looking on eBay last night for my favorite Ralph Lauren Jeans, and I came across a seller that only sells Ralph Lauren. I’ve never heard of this. I see a few Ralph Lauren things here and there, at thrift stores and estate sales, but never enough to actually make a living just selling Ralph Lauren. I reviewed this person’s sales, and they are bringing in 10,000+ every month! It wasn’t a fluke! They are really bringing in over 10K a month! I want to do that! But how can I do that?

I would love to focus on just one thing, but how can I buy just one type of product or brand? If I do focus on one product or brand, what do I do with the product I have now? Should I keep my stuff all together? Or open a new eBay ID just for my branded product?



Dear DAP:

I do know people that sell just certain brand names, or just certain types of items, like jeans, or kitchen utensils or matchbox cars. I think a lot of times when a seller specializes in brand or a product, they personally collect it or at the very least know a lot about it. Is there a product or brand that you know a lot about that you could create your own niche market?

It’s hard to say where this seller is buying their Ralph Lauren products. If it’s vintage or pre owned, they most likely are hitting up 20+ garage sales or estate sales a week, and are going to 10-15 thrift stores a week. That’s a lot of shopping. I would also bet they travel around to a large area to find the right Ralph Lauren product. If they are purchasing their product new, they are probably are buying it from a wholesaler. When I did a preliminary Google search, there were many wholesalers that have bulk lots of Ralph Lauren. Buying a load from a wholesaler would cost anywhere from 1500 to 10,000 depending upon the lot you purchase.

Another way to achieve your goal, is to start small and work your way up to being a large seller of a name brand product without the wholesaler. To do this, go to retail stores when they are having their big discount sales. It will take longer to do this, but you won’t need all the money up front like you do for a wholesaler.

I was a lot like you I went from selling just about anything I could get my hands on, to selling a niche product. I really thought I should start selling under a new id and open a new eBay store. I never really got around to it, and I just added my niche product to my current antique and collectible inventory. I think the biggest reason I didn’t change, is because I had 20K+ feedback and I didn’t want to give that up.


Strange eBay Item of the Week: Item number –301650807195. Are you Creative? Can You work with polymer clay? Check out this Miniature handmade Mini Tiny Toy Dolly and Duck Rocker OOAK Dollhouse Doll House SOLD: $171.00.

Dear eBay Queen: Should I Open a eBay Store, eCommerce Store or be an eBay Seller?

Dear eBay Queen:

I’ve been selling full time for about six months.  I am thinking maybe I need a store.  Can you tell me the difference between an eBay store, online store and just listing my stuff for 30 days on eBay?

I really would like to make a go of this, and support my family.  My sales are increasing each month.  I would appreciate any tips you can give me.



Dear Trina:

There are drastic differences between an eBay store and an eCommerce store.  An eBay store is hosted on eBay and must abide by the rules of eBay.  An eCommerce store is hosted by the hosting provider of your choice, and you choose the rules, payment options etc.  An eBay store can cost you anywhere from $19.99 to $199.99 per month.  An ecommerce store can cost you as little as $15.95 a month, up to hundreds of dollars per month.  A buyer can search for your item on search engines either way.

The difference between an eBay store and just listing your things for 30 days on eBay are all financial in my opinion.

Subscription fees

Store type Monthly subscription fee Yearly subscription fee
Basic $19.95 per month $15.95 per month
Premium $59.95 per month $49.95 per month
Anchor $199.95 per month $179.95 per month


When you sell on eBay as a seller, you receive 50 free listings a month.  As a person with a store you receive more free listings, and get a discount on insertion fees.

Store type Number of free insertion fee listings per month Auction-style insertion fees Fixed price insertion fees for Books, DVDs & Movies, Music, Video Games Fixed price insertion fees for other categories
Basic 150 $0.25 $0.05 $0.20
Premium 500 $0.15 $0.05 $0.10
Anchor 2,500 $0.10 $0.05 $0.05

You also receive lower final value fees if you have a store.

I don’t think it would hurt to open an eBay store.  How many listing do you normally put on eBay per month?  If you list over 75-100 I’d start with the basic store.  If you list anything over 200 I’d try the premium store.  It may seem like a lot to list 500 items, but it might be just what you need to push you to list more and sell more.


Dear eBay Queen:

I’m not sure what to do.  I had a buyer make an offer for 3 different counted cross stitch kits I have for sale.   I accepted one of the offers, and countered on the other two.  She accepted, and I sent her an invoice for all 3 items.  Shipping is slightly over 1.5 lbs, so I gave her a quote for exact priority mail shipping.  She messaged this back to me:

“I was not expecting shipping to be so high! Could you knock $6.00 off of this? I really feel like you are robbing me!  I want to have a good feeling about this, and I don’t. Please let me know if you’ll take the $6.00 off.”

I’m not sure what to say!  It seems like if I don’t do it, she’ll leave me a negative. I’m not ripping her off, I’m charging exact shipping, which is $8.95!  What should I do?


Dear Diane:

I would message her and perhaps send a link to the USPS website that shows how much shipping is, and how you are charging her the exact amount, then I would ask her if she would like for you to cancel all three transactions.  If she declines the cancellation, I would call eBay and see if they might give you a suggestion on what to do if she leaves a negative, or dings your stars.

The other option is to give in, and discount the shipping by six dollars.  I don’t recommend doing that.  I believe it teaches buyers bad behavior, and they could ding your stars or give you a negative anyway.


Strange eBay Item of the Week: Item #: 371295248698. Needlepoint is my hobby, and can be quite expensive if you’re searching for a specific canvas. Canvases by Melissa Shirley are highly sought after.  Melissa Shirley California Basket Bouquet Hand Painted Needlepoint Canvas, Guide & Thread. SOLD: $330.00.