Dear eBay Queen: My Buyer is a Drama Queen and I Don’t Know What To Do!

Dear eBay Queen:

I’m not sure what to do. I normally sell women’s clothing, and not women’s intimates. In my last shipment from my wholesaler, I received 8 bras. Four of these bras were a 38C, and the other four were a 42D. I put the items up for sale in a lot of four. I sold both lots to different people. My 42D person left me glowing positive feedback. My 38C person sent me this message:

Hi, I just returned the 4 bras you sent me as they are not the right size. The tag says they are a 38C, but there is no way they are a 38. They have to be a 36 or maybe even a 34. I expect a FULL REFUND and I am not paying your ridiculous re-stocking fee. I expect all my postage to be returned also. I have overnighted this back to you. These items are definitely not up to par as the bra is too small. My overnight charges were $34.82.

I expect a FULL REFUND of $69.99 and will report this to both eBay and PayPal to have them investigate if I do not receive the full refund. I cannot be held to pay for anything for an item that does not meet the standards of a 38C. It is your responsibility to report that these bras are not a 38C but are in fact a 36 or 34C. This bra is the only bra I’ve ever worn since I’ve become an adult. I know how these bras fit. I don’t know what you’ve done to this, but it’s not good. I’m not happy with you or your merchandise.

PS: I measured these bras from end to end and they measure 40” That is certainly not a 38!! You are a robber and dishonest your feedback from me will soon reflect that!

What should I do? Do you think I am required to refund their overnight shipping? Should I respond to this? I called eBay, and the person told me I should have the buyer open a return request. I messaged the buyer and told them to open a return request to make sure they receive their money and shipping back. They sent the following message to me:

eBay’s returns policy is ridiculous. There is no way I am going to open one of those. The last 2 times I did that eBay found in the seller’s favor because I didn’t dot my I’s and cross my t’s . I’m never going to do that. You just need to give me my money or my feedback will reflect what kind of low- life you are.”

I called eBay back, and they escalated me up to someone else, who told me we had to “wait and see” what was going to happen. They said that the buyer was using feedback extortion, and that I should not pay for the overnight shipping, ONLY what I originally paid for shipping. Do you think I’m being given good advice by eBay? What should I do? I’m a little weirded out since the item hasn’t come back yet, and if she had overnighted, it should have been here 2 days ago. What should I do? Never again will I sell bras.



Dear KPP:

Well, it appears that your buyer is a bit of a drama queen, and doesn’t know her own bra size. In this situation, I probably would not message your buyer until the items arrive. Once they arrive I would inspect them and make sure they were what you sent and in the condition you sent them. I would then message her and tell her you are refunding her purchase price of $69.99. I would not refund the overnight shipping charges she requested. If she leaves you a negative feedback I would immediately call eBay and have it removed for feedback extortion.

It is clear to me this woman needs a 40C and not a 38C. She even measured the bras, and they measured the way a 38C would measure. I would let the CS rep at eBay know this also, just in case she dings your stars for item as described.

I’m sorry you ran into a buyer that was less than kind. It seems there are a lot of people these days that think they are right and are offended by their own weight gain.


Strange Item of the Week: Item #: 381248498153. This is by far, one of the strangest items I’ve seen on eBay. They are eerie! 5 Vintage Columbia Dentoform Dental Phantm Manikin Heads Steampunk SOLD: $1780.00.


Dear eBay Queen: Is this a PayPal Phishing Scam?

Dear eBay Queen:

I’ve only been selling on eBay for a couple of months.  Today I received the following email from PayPal.  I have no idea what they are talking about, and I’m a little afraid to click on the link in the message.  What should I do?

Dear Member,

It has come to our attention that your PayPaI Billing Information records are out of date. That requires you to update the Billing Information If you could please take 5-10 minutes out of your online experience and update your billing records, you will not run into any future problems with PayPaI's online service. However, failure to update your records will result in soon account termination. Once you have updated your account records, your PayPaI session will not be interrupted and will continue as normal. Failure to update will result in cancellation of service, Terms of Service (TOS) violations or future billing problems.

To update and login to your account, click on the link below:

I am a little concerned by the wording in the message too!  I realize I’m a retired English teacher, but I would think a big company like PayPal would know how to send a proper message.  The wording: “However, failure to update your records will result in soon account termination.”  This made me think that it might not be a real message from PayPal.  If you can’t be certain on the authenticity of this message, do you know how to contact PayPal so I can talk to a real person?


Dear Patty:

Don’t click on that link!  It’s a phishing scam!  PayPal will always address you by your name instead of “Dear Member”.  PayPal recommends sending emails like this to .  If you’d like to speak to someone you can call: 888-215-5506.

Your retired English teacher senses pointed you in the right direction!


Dear eBay Queen:

I’m so upset, I could just scream!  I had a buyer send me a message a week or so ago asking if I would lower the price on a really nice, but used Vera Bradley purse.  I haven’t been doing very well sales wise, so I took her up on her offer. She paid for the item and I sent it off.  She has received her item, and sent me this message:

 “I received my item yesterday and I am not happy.  The purse is used!  There is a chip on the underside of the toggle button.  That is a hazard! I could cut myself! The quality of this purse is not what I would expect for the money I paid.  I think I’m going to have no other recourse than to give you a blazin’ negative so every other dimwit like me will know what kind of seller you are!  I would suggest you get a good pair of readin’ glasses, or if you have glasses, clean them for petes sake! You stated this was in good condition, I thought that meant new!  So, you’ve got 24 hours to tell me how you are going to make me happy. Please don’t say to send this back.. because THAT’S NOT HAPPEN’.

I went back and reviewed my listing.  It says pre-owned under the item specifics and in the condition box.  I also said it was pre-owned the description.  I took a photo of the chip in the toggle button.  What should I do?  Should I send her the money back for the purse so that she won’t give me a negative?

No More Vera’s

Dear Vera:

Your buyer is using feedback extortion to get you to do what she wants. I would call eBay immediately and ask them for help.  I am pretty sure based upon her wording that they will side with you and say that she is using feedback extortion.  The customer service person should put in your notes that it is extortion and once the buyer leaves negative feedback, you will need to call in again to get it removed.

You clearly put that the item is pre-owned and took a photo of the chip in the button.  eBay should side with you.  Have you reviewed the feedback this buyer leaves for other people?  You may not be the first person she has done this too.


Strange eBay Item of the Week: Item #390994539061. I hadn’t looked up advertising collectibles for quite some time. Tonight, I decided to look at the Pillsbury Doughboy. Apparently, he’s still got it! Vintage Plush Pillsbury Doughboy Pillsbury Makes it Fun Giggles 1998 Dough Boy. SOLD: $929.00.


Odd International eBay Request?

I received an email from a potential international buyer:

"I would like to bid on this item. I'm from Spain and my address is a P.O. Box of the Spanish national post company Correos, instead of a typical address. Could this be a problem? Anyway, I have received a lot of things by standard post from US by USPS International First-Class or USPS Priority International without problem."

I didn't really think much of this first, other than she is from Spain, so I messaged her back:

"Hi! As long as your address is verified through eBay and PayPal, there should not be any problems shipping this to you."

She emails this back to me..

Though my address, in both my eBay and Paypal accounts, is correct, I haven't a verified Paypal address. For this, it is necessary that the Paypal address be the same one as in my credit card, that is my home address. But in this moment, this is a problem for me because I am out home many time due to my work. In addition, the postal service is not very good to my home address. Because this, I a have a PO.Box, but it can not be a verified address.

As I commented you before, I have received a lot of things that I have bought from US for the last four years through Ebay, always by USPS International First-Class or USPS Priority International without problem. I have even received signed-for packages. In this case, my postal office alerts me when the packet arrives, and I have to sign the receipt when I pick up the package.

The inconvenient of the PO. Box is that many courier agencies, like UPS or Fedex, do not want to deliver to this kind of address. This is also the case of the courier that the Ebay Global Shipping service uses. In addition, the time for the delivering to a PO Box by standard post is greater than by courier. I know that the time that packets take to my PO Box from US varies between 10 and 30 days, and it depends on the kind of service, and if there is a retention in customs.I also have experienced that some packets are retained in customs a few days, and then I have to pay custom taxes for it. In these cases, when the packet arrives finally to my PO. Box, my postal office alerts me about the customs, and I pay the tax it in the office when I pick up the packet.

If you do not see clear whether to send to me address, or it seems complicated for you, I have no objection to not make the purchase. Do not worry about this.

Many thanks for your attention.
Kind regards


This buyer seems completely nice and upfront, but there is something that seems off.  What do you think?